high and dry.

funny how a sudden burst of outrage changes the course of history.
i have never felt so close yet so far in my whole life. could this be my wake-up call?
so many obstacles, so many hindrances. too many pillars and walls, too many hurdles.
not so far away a soul cries for this to all stop, to give up the fight. do i concede? should i concede? maybe tomorrow. too distant from now.

i admire people who can make a stand for what they really want. who hate to be confused. who refuse to be sucked in the whirlpool, who would rather paddle away from the waves.

self-control. is there such? or are we just trying too hard. . . i have to remind myself to breathe.

i hate how i get my hopes up when i hear the phone ringing. thinking. wishing. hoping. this is all but a nightmare i have gotten myself into. learning to be adamant when deep inside i will crumble, i will stumble.

is forever a lie ? how did i ever get to become so needy? THIS needy? (banging my head on the wall now!)