out of focus.

i think im probably out of it.

im always stuck waiting for things to happen. and what really sucks is that i can't seem to change the damn pattern. i know that i dont want waiting. who the hell wants to wait anyway? but they say that patience is a virtue. and i really think if i wait long enough it'll come around. but deep down inside there's this gut feeling that i might not make it. we might not make it.

is it demanding to see more than the given? as in the given given given GIVEN time (i.e. weekends) ? why should it be so full of effort when it's supposed to be effortless? should you equate being with someone to what it will cost you financially? or because it's just not practical? or am i too jaded, stuck in highschool? but don't you want to get that HIGHSCHOOL HIGH once in a while?

and you get blamed for being the bitch. is it all accepting the other and dropping everything such as your beliefs and principles no matter how silly they may seem?

fuck this. i need a holiday.